Friday, January 11, 2013

Everyday Is A Rape, and more!


[Disclaimer: I am not a sociologist, a social scientist, an anthropologist, a criminologist, an economist, a feminist, an activist, a statesman, moral police, a discipline instructor, a scholar, any degree holder, believer in any –ist or -ism or a person with commendable intellect and or moral authority by whatever name called. Views expressed herein are solemn and are unintentional (or unable) to accentuate any issues that you already have been fighting for. I don’t believe in digital activism. I refrain from selective outrage. I am just another loser. The maelstrom of emotions, however torrential, should not, in any way, be taken otherwise. These are only words, and words I think should have been spoken of, but so blatantly relegated.]

Start it from your home – if you belong to one of those lucky educated family - as a girl child, you remember how many times you have protested over your brother getting the finest piece of chicken, indifference of your parents on your brother staying out late till night while whining and whipping at your absence longer than usual, their indifference at the companies of your brother while pointing out every other boy you talked with, your mother doing the bulk of household chorus, your father enjoying the evening with office colleagues while your mother kept snoozing with the cooked meal.

(Let’s not even talk about those deprived of YOUR kind of quality life.)

You whined, sulked, dissatisfied, disturbed, disenchanted and gave up with the half-hearted protest, albeit portentously. You asked why, you got weird answers (almost funny), got ridiculed, with the stupidity of the reasons, at the insensitiveness of the generation. How your parents insisted on you being safe than brave. Objections from your family were supposedly necessary for not getting objections from the society (point). How your brother prided in his masculinity, in an endless number of girls he fooled around with, he flirted with and supposedly slept with, him loosing his virginity, and how you were constantly, secretly, unspokenly, prima facie reminded of that sacrilege.

How you were tormented in the public places, helplessly, followed by the vulturous eyes. How you were helpless in avoiding those full-body-scanning-venom-spitting and ogling amorous glances. How you avoided taking the crowded bus, one after another because they were not too safe for girls (oh yes they are supposed to be PUBLIC). How you had to cancel the parties one of your friends invited because you would nott get a ride back home, or it is too dangerous to be getting a ride back home. (So what even if your GUY friend is all muscular and fleshy, he might not be able to save you when the situation demands, or you can’t trust him at all, remember all boys are same).

At school how you avoided the lewd remarks one of your jerk teacher made because you can’t tell your principal or your parents (they wouldn’t believe you anyway because he is the teacher, the sacred one, there must be something wrong with you).

And you expect to cut it all out by castrating those dicks? Think again, my dear ladies, you will run out of swords.

No doubt rape in any form is the worst of sexual abuse, taking down a female’s body without her consent. Rape is perhaps the ultimate violence sexually, still not the end, heinous but not the only one. Rape is something over and above forceful penetration. Don’t you ever doubt it, men tend to rape not because they couldn’t resist that entreatic surge of testosterone but because something is wrong with their upbringing, something is wrong with their surrounding, something is wrong within them. It’s not the overzealous steroid hormone, it’s the encultured brain.

Something is wrong with our culture. Everything.

Everything is wrong with your father yelling at your mother, hollering, abusing, flogging, for some trivial issues, issues she didn’t know, she couldn’t have helped
Everything is wrong with your mother for not making a scene, not retreating, sulking, whimpering and cursing at the bloody fate, forsaking her honour to the chauvinism
Everything is wrong with your religion for demeaning our ladies as the weaker sex, one who has to be rescued from the raven, get stripped in a courtroom, lost in an speculative transaction, in front of her five husbands
Everything is wrong with our society for objectifying the other sex with a symbol of fun, leisure, sex, a waggling apparition of money, status and power
Everything is wrong with our schools for not breaking the barriers between the genders, not reaching out to our damned generation, not teaching us the basics of egalite, reverence and modern-age values (oh schools are for maths, science and English only, how fun)
Everything is wrong with our schools and teachers, for promoting the weaker sex appeal of our women, cultivating our men to think it’s ok to pass on lascivious remarks to our colleagues, class mates, neighbours and maids
Everything is wrong with our self acclaimed, self- accoladed and self- contented moral police on dignifying the penis and vilifying the pussy
Everything is wrong when YOU think girls with exposing and revealing dresses are strumpets, abominable whores and every guy has an eternal right to fuck them
Everything is wrong when you think a girl making a choice of her sexual partner is a morally corrupt slut
Everything is wrong when you think you had a damn good day when you brush off any women parts (no age bar at all) in a public place  
Everything is wrong when our ladies can’t take a walk around their cities because you are present on every nook and corner to pour out your unequivocal sexual desires, and your deplorable frustrations with opposite sex
Everything is wrong with you when you disregard a woman’s consent, her limits of comfort and her dissuasion,
Everything is wrong with you when you can’t comprehend that a woman’s no means no, whenever, wherever

So sad to say but everything is wrong with you.

You, yes you, when you don’t teach your daughters the power of being the other sex, the privileges they confer, the heights they can attain, the lives they can change, the change they can make happen
When you don’t teach your daughter to take down all of those who show minimal sign of the sexual harassment, in the public or the private, in the bus or the bed, in the school or the home, in actions or in words
When you don’t let your daughter let live the life she wants, she deserves, she has a right to.
Everything is wrong with you, not her
Problem is with you, not her
Problem is you
Because you are you and her is her
You are always over her!

4 comments:

Sanjeev said...

Liked every bit of your writing. Your style is powerful and your arguments, i.e. there is something seriously wrong with the 'culture', is very convincing. I also liked your nuanced observation of our everyday life in which girls/women are treated as the inferior sex.

I just wanted to share with you a conjecture, which is growing within me, that rape and brutality associated with it could be somehow linked with the anxiety and hollowness -which characterize today's 'modernizing' societies of the underdeveloped world. 'Culture' is undoubtedly the basis of it all, but the feeling of being in the middle of nowhere and/or the eroding capacity of the state to lead social transformation could also be some crucial factors.

[Disclaimer: I'm also a not a scientist and definitely a loser. :-)]

Bineeta said...

This is everything I wanted to say.loved it.and thank you for writing it.Its a proof that you don't need to be a woman to think like one.

Unknown said...

So Powerful write up with seriously aggressive yet undeniable logic!

In true Sense, Rape is neither only a crime nor it's a "mistake" by masculine or stronger, many aspects around.

Upbringing, most responsible!! Thanks! :))

Eureka said...

Speechless for this time :S